We have been going to twin club since the boys were about 3 months, it was pretty daunting at the beginning, the first time I was to scared to even get them out the pram in case they both screamed and I would look like I hadn’t a clue what I was doing – because I didn’t. Now the boys are a year and we love it, they are our people and they get it!
When I was pregnant everyone said to me how I wouldn’t get anywhere as people would stop me and be excited to see twins. This is true and the people who stop and say how lovely they are is nice to hear, but you do get mixed reactions, some I wasn’t expecting.
There seem to be a few different camps of people you will meet when you have twins, those that look at you with pity, the ones who always say things like:
‘Oh, you’ve got your hands full’ (Yes I’m aware of that thanks!)
‘You must be busy’ (Not at all – really?!)
‘It must be hard you poor thing’ (Of course its hard – but I wouldn’t change it, their my children!)
‘Double trouble, rather you than me’ (well thanks for that helpful comment!!)
I think most twin mums would agree you hear these all the time!
Then there are the mums who like to offer you advice ‘just relax’ ‘they’ll nap when they want’ – I know they are trying to be helpful but being up all night with 2 screaming babies is not fun so I will pretty much do anything to avoid this. Plus if they don’t follow a routine I wouldn’t have a minute to myself. I think with one you can go with the flow a little more, with twins routine is everything (for me anyway).
When I met my other twin mum friends they just got it – I met a friend early on who had twins the same age and she was there to chat to / moan to at any time of day and just understood.
When you are out and about with twins everyone may notice you and you feel so visible, but some days it can feel hard to get out (especially those early days) and suddenly you feel invisible – and maybe secretly wish you could be like the mum with one child who puts her baby in a carrier and can ‘pop’ to the shops! Sometimes going out felt like such a challenge.
This post has come about as when I went to get the boys passports sorted, the lady behind the counter said it was strange that the time was on the birth certificates, I said its because they are twins. She said ‘oh poor you’ that was it, nothing else, just ‘poor you’, not even a smile on her face.
I don’t know if the tiredness makes me more agitated but this actually really annoyed me. I felt like saying poor you love!
Having twins is a challenge but a whole lot of fun once you find your way. Finding a good set of fellow twin friends can really help so check out our useful resources page to find your nearest club or a local group 🙂