I think one of the hardest moments of having twins was when my husband went back to work. I was terrified, even he wondered how I would cope as we had been such a tag team and it had been really nice doing it together. Suddenly I was going to have to get them fed, burped, changed and kept alive all by myself. So anyone in this position and feeling anxious about it, don’t worry, you are certainly not the only one. It is a big milestone.
I realised I didn’t have to have everything perfect, just focus on the babies. I was lucky as I had so much support from family, but I also felt like I needed to be able to cope on my own, know I could do it. So my tips are:
- Don’t panic, you will cope just fine and find your own new routine
- Forget about the house looking perfect, it doesn’t need to be and it doesn’t really matter.
- Make a list each morning of a few jobs you maybe do want to do, keep these super simple and just a few, clean the toilet, have a shower, put a wash on, hoover (not all these in a day) That way you can tick these off at the end of the day and still feel like you have accomplished something. For my brain this helped 🙂
- Don’t worry about the mess, I know this is actually harder than it sounds, when you look around and see total chaos and have two sleeping babies on you who you can’t put down, I would sometimes think, god I wish this house was tidy. But it doesn’t matter, it will not be forever I promise and the cuddles are the most important thing.
- If people offer help let them, don’t worry if you haven’t washed your hair, if they are real friends they are more interested in baby cuddles than your hair and adult company always perked me up.
- Try and be a little planned, get bottles ready before a feed, have a change station all set up downstairs and I also used to have a whole box of clothes downstairs so I didn’t have to keep going up stairs when we needed a change of clothes – a lot with my reflux baby!
- Remember sometimes the reason it all feels to much and like you don’t know where to start is lack of sleep – being tired makes us emotional, stressed and like the smallest thing is a big deal. So keep this in mind and give yourself a break – you are doing fab. I would make sure my husband would at least help a few nights so I could get some decent sleep.
After a while you will be able to get the babies into a routine and I then found things got a lot easier – check out the routines blog which may also help.